I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
