He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sex in a hospital.. check
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
