You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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