my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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