The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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