I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize