I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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