Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
