Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You ate ashes out of my bong
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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