maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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