the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
