My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
