don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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