Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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