420 ftw
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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