I got chris browned last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
