omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
