My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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