The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
