im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize