In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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