She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
