i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
