It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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