All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize