don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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