Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
