i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize