you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
