Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
