When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
