oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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