My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
