And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
