you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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