Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
