We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
