it hurts more in the daytime
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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