arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my shit smells like andre
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
