College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
