Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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