filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
