so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
