they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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