Small penises have feelings too.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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