dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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