adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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