No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
