ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
