Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
