so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
