You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I forget how to act sober
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
