Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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