Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
