Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize