porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize