Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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