i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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