So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have already put on my inside pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
