Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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