Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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