the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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