can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
